Cats on a Roof

Today I took the blanket off the bed.  After 6 months of snuggling under blankets, wearing multiple layers, and freezing my proverbial buns off, it is finally warm enough to take the blanket off the bed.

We are in the midst of the final two days of our passage from New Zealand to Fiji, and we have arrived in the tropics!  Yyyyyesssss!!  Hello wonderful shorts and tank tops!  Good bye worn slippers, sweaters and fuzzy blankets!!  I have to say that it feels marvelous to have the windows open to the 10kt sea breeze and feel the pleasantly warm, salty air cool my skin!  LIG!

As John has mentioned, though, it wasn’t without some angst that we started this latest passage.  What with the tranny oil incident (such a simple thing…..it HAS to be here somewhere! arrgh!!) and the whole weather “go, don’t go, WTF?, go, don’t go” fiasco, he was jumpier than well, a cat on a hot tin roof.  And I gotta tell you, he was making me crazy!

But, I get this…..I really do.  After all, I’m the one with the famous KSP (Kathy’s Sweaty Palms) factor, right?  Well known worry-wart and fretter.  It runs in my family…..I come by this honestly.  But for whatever reason, this time, he’s the one with a JSP factor.  Wow….complete role reversal….who knew??

I asked him why, this time, he was so jumpy about this passage, reminding him that it’s my job to worry.  He has always said he never worries because I worry enough for both of us.  But apparently this time, I’m not worrying enough to cover his anxiety, too.  You would think that with all the long passages we did last year, that it would get easier…..be old hat…..mundane……no worries.   Were that it were so.  I guess on some level, it does get easier, but the truth is every passage is different, with different weather, different ocean currents, and different circumstances.  Will the forecast hold?  Will the seas get sloppy from that nearby low?  Will anything break and will we be able to fix it?  I mean there’s just no Tow Boat US out here and there’s so much that can go wrong.

So again…..I do get this.  After losing our tranny oil cooler on the passage from Tonga to New Zealand, we were both kitties high-stepping on that roof.  I suppose what it did for us was to really iterate our vulnerability out here.  Of course, intellectually, we’ve known that all along, but this event was particularly poignant for both of us…..And especially for John.  He is the one to whom the ultimate fixes fall…..He is the one in the hundred degree engine room in rolling seas trying to change out an oil cooler before the bad weather hits us……He is the one who feels the burden of all the responsibility.  He’s a guy….The burden of responsibility runs deep and profound in him.

And, more than just the worry, that’s what I wish I could take from him…..The burden of responsibility.  Unfortunately, the fix does fall to him, as I have no gift at that whatsoever, although I usually have lots of direction to offer anyway.  🙂  Nonetheless, the fact remains that he is NOT solely responsible for what happens out here on board Mystic Moon.  It falls to both of us to solve whatever should go wrong, and honestly, that’s what it’s taken every time thus far….Both of us.  I mean after all, he is a guy…… how the heck would he have ever found the new oil cooler hidden under the bunk if I (the one with the radar attached to her uterus) hadn’t been here??  🙂

Seriously, though, whether it’s small hands needed to start a screw behind the watermaker, patience extraordinaire required to untangle a fouled fishing reel, someone to play go-fer for tools between lazarette and engine room, or someone to just sweat and be miserable with in the engine room, the Captain knows that I’m his (wo)man!  If not for the KSP factor, who would double check all those charts, find those waypoints, check 5 different sources for passes?  Who would do the worrying??

It does seem to me, that most things we have accomplished in our lives, we have done together as a team anyway, all the way from raising our kids to cruising on Mystic Moon.  The burden of responsibility is ours…..Not just his….not just mine….but ours….Team YB.  I’m out here because I choose to be, because I want to be….because I think team YB can handle whatever comes our way. And, I also know that he’s out here because in the beginning, this was my dream….And I love him for it.  Are you listening Captain?

Ah hemm…..There may have been a bit of digression there…..sorry…

In any event, we obviously did leave Opua on that weather window, hearts thumping and trying to keep the Faith, and as it turns out, we chose wisely.  This has been very trawler-like weather and a pretty comfy passage thus far.  It has been really good for both us to be able to kick-back, do our watches, fish, read, nap, snack, and generally relax.  After the first couple of days, YB chilled out and is back to his old self.

And me?  I’m back to my old self too.  Tomorrow afternoon we make landfall in Fiji, and it’s my responsibility to get the paperwork and customs details right, and the boat presentable to welcome all the officials on board.  So now I’m the cat on the hot aluminium roof, dancing around to get things in order, fretting over declarations et al.  YB, beached out on the pilothouse settee, looks out over top of his book at me, his eyebrows raised at my latest nattering.  Ha! Guess I’m probably making him crazy about now….

And……All is right with the world….. 🙂

Team YB, indeed….